my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
