I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
