i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
