I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize