he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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