I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
