It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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