y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
