wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
