I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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