we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
