I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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