My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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