Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
