I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
