Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
