And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
