he told me I talked like a deaf person
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
