Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
