Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
