Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you traded sex for a burrito?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Randomize
