Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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