yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Randomize
