Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
