Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
