i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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