3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
