Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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