there's paper in my vomit.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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