Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just forgot I was standing up.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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