Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm both gender and math confused
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