You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
whose ass print is on the piano?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
