You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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