Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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