He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
