maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
