i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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