Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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