No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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