I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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