I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
high people should be assigned attendants
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
