Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
