maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
