Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
