Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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