love makes seman taste better
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
