Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(320): View more from Minnesota

I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town

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(773): View more from Illinois

I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment

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(406): View more from Montana

apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...

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(703): View more from Virginia

today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball

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(907): View more from Alaska

We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"

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(818): View more from California

Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"

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(303): View more from Colorado

Shit happens dude.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.

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