My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
is wine microwaveable?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
