So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
