The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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