so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
